It's dry tale that disna end in a drink.

“Meep!”

Ok, so you don’t understand MacNoodle-Speak. That’s okay. That’s why Alien Wally and Mags have been chosen to transcribe the Chronicles into human language for the benefit of all humankind. So let’s try that again:

“Hello, and welcome to my blog! Now bugger off and let me go back to sleep in my heated bed while Alien Wally and Mags take you through the highlights of the past week.”

Right. Madam has spoken and must always be obeyed. Without further ado then, here are some selected moments since arrival in Edinburgh.

The Castle
Still beautiful.



The All-Powerful Red Book
Mags always knew that her Red Book was important. After all, it gave her immediate and unquestioned access to The Land Of The Water Of Life. But no-one could have predicted that it also bestowed on its bearer perfect health and well-being. Yes, ‘tis true… Alien Wally will soon be summonsed to appear before a chest x-ray machine to verify that he is free of cooties. Mags, however, who has shared airspace with Alien Wally for many years, has been deemed immune to any chest infections. All bow to the Red Book. We are not worthy!

The Heated Bed
The MacNoodle loves her heated bed. She does love Alien Wally and Mags just a little bit more, though. No really. The fact that she deigns to come out of her heated bed for a wee while every visit is proof of that fact. It is. No really.

The Long Road
One long straight road, connecting bus stop to quarantine facility. Alien Wally and Mags can walk it in 10 minutes flat. The reward for all this exercise? A funny fluffy thing with a big purr at the one end and a Mars Bar at the other.

Lothian Buses
Extensive. Mostly on time. A much better bet during rush hour. Alien Wally and Mags are now proud owners of Ridacards and even more proud of their ability to navigate the bus routes to get them anywhere they want in the city.

The Time-Share Beanie
Not the brightest point in Mags’ life, packing her beanie into the boxes being sent by air-freight. She claims a last minute brain-freeze as a result of moving day stress. And brain-freeze it was, of an almost literal kind, as Alien Wally and Mags arrived in Edinburgh during an unseasonable cold spell that affected the whole of the UK. While many other parts of Scotland and England had snowfalls, the best Edinburgh could throw at Alien Wally and Mags was some brief sleet and some snow on the mountains in the distance.



Still very cold though, and Alien Wally very kindly let Mags use his beanie on a time-share basis while they were out and about, until Mags could buy one of her own. The good news is that the weather is now warm. Relatively, that is.

Movies
Some things in Edinburgh are cheap compared to SA, some things are on a par. And then you get movies. GBP 6.50 per ticket plus GBP 4.00 for popcorn. Do the sums, people. Ouch. At least the movie (Premonition) was good.

U-Bag and Edinburgh Customs
Alien Wally and Mags are eternally grateful to U-Bag for getting all 8 crates to Edinburgh safe and sound. Alien Wally now has his entire CD collection with him and is very happy. Consequently, Mags is very happy too. The fact that the crates take up almost the entire lounge space in the flat is a small price to pay. They have been stacked into a pleasing arrangement, not unlike many modern art installations.



A word of warning to anyone thinking of following Alien Wally and Mags to Edinburgh, however… customs for air-freight goods is moving to Liverpool (or is it Manchester? Somewhere down south…). Alien Wally and Mags made it by the skin of their teeth to collect their goods. The boxes were due to arrive on Wednesday, and Alien Wally and Mags had intended to collect them on Thursday at their leisure. This plan was thrown totally askew as they were cheerfully informed at about 13:00 on Wednesday that their goods had arrived, but that they had to collect them by 15:30 that day as customs was only open on a Wednesday, and that this Wednesday was the last Wednesday that they would be based in Edinburgh. Panic ensued. Many phone calls later left them with the horrible knowledge that there were no small vans available to rent in Edinburgh at the last minute. With time running out, Alien Wally and Mags hurried over to the nearest Hertz, hoping to be able to rent the heroic Ford Fusion that they had rented for a couple of days upon arrival in Edinburgh as its large boot space would be more than sufficient to fit all 8 boxes. Luckily, the universe took pity on our intrepid adventurers – Hertz had the car available, and Alien Wally and Mags managed to arrive at the airport at about 14:45. Fifteen minutes later, they were driving away with their possessions, full of praise for the friendly and efficient cargo handlers and customs officials. As a result of the quick and smooth process, the day was not totally lost and Alien Wally and Mags still managed to make their remaining property viewings that day.

The Flat
And finally, one of those property viewings that Alien Wally and Mags were able to get to on Wednesday produced the flat for which they have just put down a deposit (towards a 6 month rental). Said flat is in a fairly newly built block, and is huge. Seriously. Three bedrooms and three bathrooms (two en-suite). One bedroom will be used as office space and for any guests that want to come and visit during festival time (hint hint), while the other will be used for storage of all Alien Wally and Mags’ things that are coming by ship. It is a ground floor flat, with a private patio area, and the landlord is happy for the MacNoodle to move in too when she comes out of quarantine. The flat was a very lucky find, and Alien Wally and Mags are very grateful to Nicola from Alba Residential for suggesting it while driving them around Edinburgh to look at properties. It had just come on to the market and hadn’t even been advertised yet. Alien Wally and Mags snapped it up straight away! They move in on 5 April.

Herewith endeth the first installment of The Chronicles. Now, you may pour yourself a drink. Alien Wally and Mags certainly plan to!