Beam Me Up, Scotty.

Mags has always known that the aliens were coming to get her. She just didn’t know that they were so close. She should have twigged, of course…. Alien Wally. Alien. Wally. So obvious, in retrospect. Hindsight is always 20/20. But then, Mags’ eyesight is so bad that without contact lenses she can’t see her hand in front of her face. She didn’t stand a chance. This is obviously how Alien Wally managed to sneak in a funny fluffy thing from his home planet to keep an eye on Mags during the day when he’s out at work.

Martini. Vesper Martini.

At least once in one’s life, one has to try the original, dinkum James Bond martini. Alien Wally and Mags have now had one of these twice. Er, had two of these once. Er, had one of these once and then another one once again on another occasion. Or something like that. They are therefore now highly qualified to provide you with the following warning should you wish to shake (not stir) this classic cocktail yourself: Try this at home. At least there, the only people to witness you crawling about on the floor, desperately trying to get your sea legs while the ground beneath you pitches about like a ship caught in a hurricane, are your partner who loves you dearly in sickness and in health, in drunkenness and next day hangovers, and your cat, who already knows that she is vastly superior to you, and doesn’t care what you’re up to anyway as long as the central heating is on and her bed is in front of the radiator.

The cocktail book was not kidding when it described this drink as containing “enough alcohol to floor a rhino”. What Mags wants to know though, is how 007 managed to raise his Golden Gun after consuming one of these…?

The Other Castle

Craigmillar Castle. It’s the other castle in Edinburgh. It’s pretty much right in the middle of the ‘burb of Craigmillar (funny that, who would have guessed?!). It’s pretty much on a hill. Yet, owing to some trickery of light, some cunning planting of trees, and of course the effects of living in a holographic universe, it’s pretty much invisible until you’re right on top of it. Alien Wally and Mags didn’t even know it was there until they, along with all residents of Edinburgh, got vouchers for free visits to both castles.

Even though it’s missing a roof and a floor here and there, it’s a lovely castley castle, with lots of nooks and crannies to explore. And once you have wended your way to the top, the panoramic views are incredible, including the one of Edinburgh Castle (the other other one, that is, the one everyone knows about).